Current Carry Me

It’s hard to imagine that my life will be changing again in just a few months. My year in California has brought such a new light into my life’s journey and it has been a whirlwind of emotions to think about where my path may lead me next. The last time I wrote it was mid-fall and before I knew it, 2013 closed it’s curtains to reset the stage for a new year.

Life has gotten so busy since the last time I wrote and I'm kicking myself for not making the time to share my experiences here. From now on I will:

Do less & write more

Amidst this crazy time in my life's journey, I had a moment of clarity as we took some time to get out of town and go whale-watching in Monterey Bay (and get clam chowder in one of those amazing sourdough bread bowls). As our boat moseyed a few miles from the coast waiting for the whales to make their appearance, we passed a sea otter drifting mindlessly among the waves that rocked our boat back and forth. Many of us were surprised to see this lone otter drifting so far from the shoreline but we were told by the captain that they often drift far out during the day, napping in a lackadaisical food coma. As I watched, I grew anxious for the creature so exposed by the vast sea surrounding him. Wasn't he not concerned about predators? What if he drifts too far from his home? Although all of these worries were running through my mind, they clearly were not running through his; it seemed he knew the current would take him exactly where he needed to go when he needed to be there.

I need to be more like this otter, I thought. I know it sounds silly because it feels silly just typing it but how could I not see this moment as something I can learn from? So often, I grow tense with stress and anxiety trying to plan out every minute of my life that I sink like a rock and grow breathless under the pressure I put on myself to figure it all out before it even happens.

So I’m trying something I’m not so good at doing- I’m learning to let go. I’m learning to put my faith in something greater so that I can lie on my back and let the weight of the world drift by as the current carries me where I am meant to go.

“If I take the wings of the morning and settle at the farthest limits of the sea, even there your hand will lead me, your right hand shall hold me fast.”